


Kiss Away Your Scars

by Arijana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean has retired from hunting, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Permanent injury is not really permanent, Puppies, Supernatural AU - Freeform, TW: Body dysmorphia, The story itself is cute I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arijana/pseuds/Arijana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After injuring himself, on what was supposed to be an easy hunt, Dean has retired in a small town at the sea side where he spends his days cooking, cutting grass and working on the Impala. Something is missing, but what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester was a scarred man. Both emotionally and physically. Even though he tried to keep his emotional scars and unspoken feelings safely bottled up inside and even though he tried to put up as many walls as he possibly could to protect himself from the never ending misery that seemed to be his life, there was something that was harder to hide, and those were his many and very visible physical scars. Yes, to hide the scars that were scattered all over his back, chest and abdomen from prying eyes of others most of them were hidden under many layers of clothes; but to hide them from himself he avoided mirrors. The reflection that stared back at him was disformed. Evil. Unlovable. Weak. However, despite his attempts there was one scar that has proved itself almost impossible to hide from all the looks. The stares. He hated it, he didn't want to be looked at, hell, he couldn't stand looking at himself for more than five seconds, catching other people looking at him made his insides twist with uneasiness. Most people were just symphatetic, they felt sorry for him and that ate him inside even more. It made him feel weak and Dean Winchester was not weak, he wasn't _allowed_ to be weak. He has to be strong. Always strong. 

„Why can't you, once, just for once, try harder?! Why are you so weak? Do you know what happens to those who are weak? They get the people they love killed! They get killed! They die! I will not have a weak son.“

He could always hear his fathers words in his mind, repeating themselves over and over again, drilling them even deeper into his psyche ever since he was a little boy. He didn't remember ever hearing a nice word. All of this was, of course, a part, if not the root to his many emotional scars.

The hunters life has left a lot of scars on Deans body but the one that was the most prominent was the one on his right hand. A thick, red scar that streched from under his elbow and twisted to an end on his palm was left as a aftermath and a constant reminder of a hunt gone awry. The wound that caused it did damage to the tendons and nerve endings in his hand and has caused numbness which in terms made it difficult for him to use it sometimes, it didn't really cause a hurt, the sensation was more of a dull ache, one he could ignore. The injury itself was not permanent but Dean Winchesters inability to accept himself, forgive himself or ask for help knows no bounds and remains the main reason why it has been left untreated for so long. The injury was in fact very treatable with an operation and some physiotherapy, of course.

Dean has long since retired from hunting, his injury making it impossible from him to protect himself or others. But, it was for the better, the lifestyle and the job have left Dean broken and what he needed to do know was to spend his time mending his wounds and for the first time ever start doing things that would benefit _only_ him. He would be leading a nice life if he wasn't drowning in self pity. The world was now at some sort of a peace, well, as much as it could be honestly. There was a considerable increase in the hunters ranks which made it easier for him to not get involved and the heaven and hell finally regained the balance and were doing only as much as they were meant to do, not trying to gain control over the middle or each other. 

Dean decided to settle in a relatively small town in the south, the weather was always nice and warm and after a lifetime of freezing in cars and motel rooms, it felt incredible to finally have a place of his own, a proper home. When he first purchased the small cottage on the coast, to say it was a shack would have been an understatment. The roof on the second floor was almost completely gone and almost all woodwork needed replacing. But since, Deans capable hands have molded it into a beautiful two story home. He painted the outside wood white which added even more to its rustic charm and warmth. The little porch in front gave a breath-taking look on to the shoreline. The garden that surrounded the house always had perfectly trimmed grass and the back yard had a huge grill that would be perfect for hosting big barbecue parties (if he actually threw any of those). In short, Dean made all of the dreams of having a home ever since he was a little kid come true here, but even after everything he was still feeling miserable. He was unhappy. Which is not really a surprise considering that the one thing he missed out on was in fact the most important out of them all - someone to share that dream with.

One of the things that Dean was fond the most about taking a base at one place was having a routine. And he sure established one of his own, he would get up, go to bed, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, do the dishes, clean the house, trim the grass, work on the Impala, he done it all on a schedule and for him it meant having peace. 

Today was Saturday and that meant working on the Impala. Of course, the beloved car was never in anything other than pristine condition but he still enjoyed tinkering with it. It was then that his mind was completely at ease.

The day was particularly nice, it was starting to warm up considerably even though it was still relatively early in the morning, the natures way of subtly anouncing the ever approaching beginning of summer. The garage door was completely open and the light breeze was engulfing everything with the intoxicating smell of salty air that for some reason always reminded Dean of his childhood, the good part with his mother. That was why he chose to settle down somewhere near the ocean, in the first place. Deans favourite radio station was on playing some classic rock tune and he hummed along. Today is looking good, he has a good feeling about today. Just as that thought crossed his mind, he hears something being knocked over, the loud sound takes him by surprise and his hunter reflexes kick in, he jumps, ready to tackle and kill the threat, if necessary. Dean was genuinely surprised when this "threat" lowered its head to its front legs and wagged its tail. It was a puppy. The pup oblivious to Deans action interpreted it as play and was waiting for him to throw the stick. Dean chuckles. 

"Hey, little fella. Where did you come from?" Dean says crouching in front of the puppy, petting its head.  
Dogs always loved Dean and this one was no exception. "What's your name, ha?" he said reaching for the small golden plate on his collar. It read Jack in small black letters. "So, Jack, where is your owner?"

Just then someone appeared on the door.

"Jack! There you are!" you say, relieved to see your puppy.

Dean quickly gets up. "So he's yours?" he says smiling.

Putting your hair behind your ears before picking Jack up, you turn to Dean. 

"Yes, I'm so sorry, did he break anything?" - you say looking around - "He's not usually like this, I don't know what got into him." - you say while cracking a smile and giving the man a first proper look. He was dashingly good looking. Meeting his eyes, which quite possibly were the greenest you have ever seen, you extend your hand.

"Sorry, I'm Y/N. I just moved in next doors."

"Dean." he says smiling and shakes your hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wrote the second chapter longer but I've decided to break it down to two chapters so that I could give you, as a character, a bit of a back story. Hope you enjoy it!

"So, you bought the old McLeod's property?"

"Uh, sort of, but I live there now, yes." you said, not wanting to go into detail.

The "old McLeod" he referred to was your maternal grandfather and the property was technically yours, it was left to you in his will, but while you are living there now, you had no plans of moving back home again. But, obviously, you weren’t going to tell that to a complete stranger. 

Both of you stood there for a few wonderfully awkward moments. You wanted to say something, to ask, just keep the conversation going, but you were completely at loss for words. 

“Well… We should go. Again, I’m really sorry for all the trouble, he’s usually a really peaceful puppy.” 

“It’s okay, really, he didn’t do anything, don’t worry about it” Dean said and crouched to pet Jack once again. 

Now that he wasn’t looking, you finally had a chance to look at him better. He was very handsome, sporting a well worn in pair of black sweatpants and a black tee, one that showed off his arms in all of their glory. The clothes he wore enhanced his physique, one with sculpted biceps, a tight stomach and broad, muscular back.

You could tell that he was strong, it practically radiated off of him, the way he carried his frame, it was obvious that he had some sort of a combat training. The muscles on his arms were toned just enough that you could see the muscles moving underneath the smooth skin. Of course, you noticed the scar immediately, a trained eye such as your own couldn’t have missed it, but you didn’t want it to be obvious. The way he moved his right hand indicated that the injury was left untreated and you knew very well that patients with such injuries often needed therapy as well to cope with the situation they were in. Before you could even process it, you were met by his green eyes. Caught in the act. You could feel your cheeks staining pink. ‘You're acting like a little schoolgirl, what the hell, Y/N?’ you thought to yourself. A smirk crossed his features but was gone just as soon as it appeared. 

You cleared you throat.

“Uh, I should go. It was nice meeting you, Dean.” 

“ You, too. I hope we see each other around.” 

“Yeah, me too.” you said while walking away and you flashed him a smile.

“Come on, Jack” you said and he ran past you. 

Walking away, you stuffed your hands in your pockets and couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. As soon as you were back in the open you were engulfed with the smell of salty air. It brought back many memories. One set in particular. One of your favourites. Drinking cold ice tea on the porch with your grandfather. You and your grandfather were close, well, as much as you could be with a man who was often away. You didn’t have many memories of him because he died when you were quite young but you remembered the stories he told you on the porch of your house and the warmth of the sun on your skin like it was just yesterday. Your grandfather was a sailor, he traveled all around the world, met all kinds of people and saw many wondrous things. He was also a great storyteller, his stories were pulsating, filled with adventure, they had you holding your breath with anticipation as to what is to come for people in them. Vampires, werewolves, fairies and many other mythical creatures all made an appearance in them. You never knew if the stories were inspired by his own adventures at sea or if they were a figment of his vivid imagination. Growing up your grandfather was always your hero. His wild blood ran in your veins and it was in part what drove you to move away from home to pursue your own dreams. You moved away to New York.

You grew up in this little town and while you did love it, it could never really compare to New York. The energy that pulsated in the city was incredibly thrilling to you and it made you feel alive. So, after your parents divorced and your mother moved away to New York, you decided to follow. Your father stayed and opened a little coffee shop. It was a huge change for both of them but they were far happier that way. Fast forward about twenty years and they have both remarried and were both successful in their respective fields, your mother was working as an editor in a fashion magazine, which was always a life long dream for her. And your father was planning on expanding his business. Your mother didn't really understand your decision to move back here for a couple of months but she was nothing if not supportive. Your father felt the same but was happy that you will finally get to spend more time together. He was thrilled when you told him that while you did come here to relax, you still wanted to do something with your time, and asked for a job as a waitress. You knew most of the people that lived here but Dean certainly was a new face. A very handsome face. So, naturally, you wanted to know more. 

The next day you (not so) casually decided to bring it up and ask your father for more information about your handsome new neighbor.

"His name is Dean Winchester, I don't know much about him, he keeps to himself, but he's a good man. Troubled by something, there were rumors that his mother was killed when he was a child and his father abandoned him and his younger brother not a while after that. He's a regular, comes in every day to get coffee and pie. Why do you ask?" your father asked smiling. 

"Oh, no reason, was just wondering who he is. I mean, we're neighbors. I should know who he is, he could be a crazy axe murderer or something for all I know." you said quickly but could still feel a slight blush creeping on your cheeks.   
‘This blushing is getting ridiculous. What’s the matter with me?’ you thought to yourself. ‘I moved back home and all of a sudden I’m acting like I’m fifteen again.

"Naturally." your father said and chuckled but said nothing else, although you both knew that he understood what this was really about.

You decide to go back to the storage room to "taste-check" another one of those chocolate donuts, which, to be honest, was like your third today, but oh well.

Just as you had back, you see no other but Dean Winchester come to the front door, but he hasn't seen you. He goes straight to say hello to your father. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you could see that your father was quite fond of him. They chat for a bit smiling, when Dean gestures to his hand and your father nods sadly in understanding. It appeared that your father and Dean were closer than you originally imagined. You decide to approach them.

"Oh, Dean, I believe you've met my daughter, Y/N already."

Dean was visibly surprised.

"Uh... Yes, we have, yesterday actually. Mr Y/L/N is your father?

“Yes, he is.” You nod smiling. He seemed even dreamier than when you first saw him yesterday, sporting jeans and a burgundy button up over a black tee. And oh boy, did burgundy look good on him. 

“She moved back here for a couple of months and will be helping me out around the shop while she’s here so you kids are going to be seeing each other often.” he says overtly and walks away chuckling.

“So, what can I get you?” you say.

“Black coffee and pecan pie.”

“Would you like that here or to-go?” 

“Here if you’ll join me” Dean says and once again, smirks. And somehow manages to look even more irresistible.

“So, to-go then” you say and smile cheekily. “I am on the clock mister.”

“Ooh, come on..” he laughs. “How about tonight then?”

“Mr. Winchester, are you asking me on a date?” you lean in on the counter, inches away from him.

“Only if you say yes.”

You purse your lips, looking into his green eyes, wondering.

“Then I’ll see you tonight” you say standing back up straight and flipping your long Y/H/C hair back. 

“Perfect.” he says taking his order from you and heads for the door and just as he exits he turns to you again and winks.

You laugh and head back for another donut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Dean Winchester has a date. That hasn't happened in a while. Walking back to the Impala he feels remnants of his old confidence tingling. Nothing is quite like than when a beautiful girl decides you're worthy of her time. For the first time in a while, things are really starting to look up. He's finally at peace, not having to worry about other people or the end of the world. Dean was now able to take care of himself, to think only about himself, to be selfish. Because truthfully? He deserved it. Still, the idea terrified him. Years and years of countless people telling him that he is unworthy, that other people matter more, even if it was his brother, have certaintly left trace. Dean didn't know how to love himself. He was scared of coming off as arrogant and a d*ck, scared of someone laughing in his face and telling him once again that he is poison. But, most of all, he was scared of finally starting to come to peace with himself, to have a life he always wanted and then to have it all taken away from him once again. He barely survived it the first time, it happening again would destroy him once and for all. So, he took baby steps, trying to come to terms with all of it, to slowly overcome the cripling anxiety.

The only thing Dean really wanted was a family. A real family. The need for one burning inside of him, killing him. He needed a family. He wanted to have a someone to come home to, to crawl in a warm bed with and to be embraced with warmth and love and kisses. Someone to whisper all his fears and all his nightmares to in the darkest hours of the night and to be woken up with giggles, rays of sunshine peaking through the windows. He wanted to have children, many children. To teach them about cars and to work with them on the Impala, to play football in the backyard, to read them stories, tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. Dean has come to terms with his wishes but he was terrified that he would end up like his father. And that is something he could never forgive himself.

The ride back home was short, there really was no need to use the car but Dean enjoyed hearing the engine roar since he didn't actually go anywhere with the Impala anymore, not since he retired from hunting. The sound reminded him of Sam and their adventures, it wasn't always bad, they had good moments too, despite everything. So, every morning Dean would start up the Impala and go to his favourite little café to get coffee and pie and allowed himself to think of those good times.

What he didn't expect on this particular day, though, was in fact, to see you there. And not only that but you were Mr. Y/L/N's daughter, which would also mean that you were Jack McLeod's granddaughter. He has only known you for a couple of days and already you were full of surprises.  
As Dean parked the Impala and was on his way into the house, he couldn't help but wonder how much you knew about your grandfather, or if you knew anything at all. That train of thought has been quickly replaced by another one, a much more dire one. 

„I have a date tonight.“ Dean stated flatly and out loud to no one in particular standing in the middle of his kitchen. „Shit.“  
He knew he wanted to do something nice and romantic, so while looking out the kitchens window and onto the beach, he had an idea. There was still some time till nightfall so Dean decided to pass the time by doing some work around the house.

***

The sun was already starting to set and as the time of your date approached Dean couldn't help but be nervous, he hasn't done this in a while. He gathered all the things he needed from the house and headed out to the beach to set everything up.  
Setting the fire took no more than a few moments, years of being a hunter providing the necessary experience. Once everything was done he went back into the house to take a shower and get ready. It was 7:30pm. He would go over to your house to pick you up in an hour. 

***

Sporting one of his signature plaid buttonups and jeans, Dean takes one last look in the mirror before grabbing a bottle of Merlot and heading to your house. A five minutes stroll later and he's standing at your door. He can feel his heart thumping loudly, practicly hearing it. 'Well, here goes nothin'' Dean thinks, takes a deep breath and knocks. Seconds later and you're opening the door. One look at you and he catches his breath. You exchange greetings and smile like idiots at each other for a few moments.

„You look beautiful..“ Dean breathes finally.

„You're not so bad yourself, Mr Winchester. So, where to?“

„It's a surprise, come on.“ Dean says and extends his hand for you to take it.

*****

It was so peacefully quiet. The distinctive sound of the waves lazily crashing on the shore in the dark and the soft crackling of the fire in front of you being the only sounds. The sky above was clear and the stars were shining bright. It was perfect. The two of you walked side by side, gently bumping into eachother as your feet fell through sand that was still warm from the sun that shone brightly all day. The summer was definitely coming.

The scene in front of you was almost magical. The two of you chatted as you approached the fire that Dean has apparently started earlier for the two of you. Right next to it he laid a blanket.

„Wow, Dean...“ you started, the whole thing looked straight out of a movie, the fire, the blanket, sounds of the waves, the salty air and the open sky, even the bottle of wine in his hand, somehow everything had aligned perfectly and you were at the loss for words.

„This is...amazing, Dean.“ you looked at him. He sighed with relief.

„Ha, I'm glad you like it, had me worried there for a second.“ a small laugh escaped from him.

„No, really..“ you said putting a hand softly on his arm „It's perfect.“

„You deserve nothing less.“ he said softly and the two of you stared into eachothers eyes for a few moments, before you looked away and gestured to the wine he was still holding.

„So, you're gonna opet that or not?“

He laughed wholeheartedly and proceded to open it, reaching for one of the glasses that was on the blanket and giving it to you. After he poured into both of your glasses, he turned towards you and raised his glass a little. 

„To good health and good company.“

„Hear, hear.“ you said and both of you took a sip, not breaking eye contact.

„So, tell me how you ended up here out of all the places?“ you asked him, curious as to how out of all the small cities in the world, he ended up in your hometown. Nothing about it quite stood out, it wasn't famous for anything in particular.

Dean looked at you for a moment as if not sure what to say, and in all honesty he wasn't sure how to say it or explain it. One of the reasons he chose this town was in fact – your grandfather. Dean wasn't sure how much you knew or if you knew anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter has been ready for a couple of days now but I decided to wait a bit with posting, still I hope you liked it.
> 
> Fun fact, I had to make an outline of the house because the positioning of the house and view of the shoreline in my mind got confusing, haha. I can post it if you'd like. :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about this story lately and honestly even almost two years later I still don't quite know where to take this, I have some vague ideas but thats pretty much it..however I found this cute lil snip in my drafts so I thought I might as well share it. Hope you enjoy the story!

Dean is silent for a few long moments. He's looking at you, visibly deep in thought, a strangle look in his eyes. He's studying your face, contemplating it and you're looking right at him, studying his. He has a beautiful face, you realize not for the first time. Long eyelashes frame his emerald eyes, constellations of freckles visible in the dim light of the fire only because of how close you are sitting ... and the lips. You really want to kiss them. With that thought you suddenly become aware that you might been looking at his lips for a moment too long, you look up to meet his eyes once again. Dean appears not to have noticed, having turned to look at the fire.

"I've had a pretty.. hectic life" he starts, and huffs a tiny laugh. "To say the least. I was looking for peace and quiet. The routine of life here feels nice."

"I know what you mean. All my life I've dreamed about New York and its way of living and now that I am there, I find myself missing this." you say with a vague gesture to where you're sitting.

He turns his head once again and there is a look on his face, a strange sense of intimacy between you, one that you very rarely get with someone you just met but the two of you seem to understand each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think about it :D


End file.
